Amusing things that you’ll see in “The Almighty Johnsons”

"The Almighty Johnsons" Creator James Griffin and Rachel Lang with Timothy Balme, Emmett Skilton, Ben Barrington, Dean O'Gorman, Jared Turner.

“The Almighty Johnsons” Creator James Griffin and Rachel Lang with Timothy Balme, Emmett Skilton, Ben Barrington, Dean O’Gorman, Jared Turner.

Hello all!! A few months ago, I finished watching a lovely show from New Zealand called “The Almighty Johnsons” about four brothers who happen to be human incarnations of a few interesting Norse gods. I enjoyed the show quite a bit, as the story was interesting and fun. it is smart, funny, adventurous and at times dramatic show with great writing and wonderful actors. The show was created by James Griffin and Rachel Lang and features Timothy Balme, Emmett Skilton, Dean O’Gorman, Jared Turner, Ben Barrington, Fern Sutherland, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Hayden Frost, and Michelle Langstone.

Anyway, one of my favorite things to do after I have found something that I really like is to take that something and see if I can get a few laughs out of it. Anyway, this is what I came up with when I was trying to come up with a few one liners for this bad boy. Note that everything that comes from here on is meant in jest and is not meant to be taken seriously. So please, sit back and enjoy these amusing one-liners about “The Almighty Johnsons”!!

Bragi, God of poetry…Who can’t really write poetry. And yet all his pick-up lines are somehow better than, “Aren’t you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers?” (Yes I am making reference to “The Hobbit”. Why? Because I can!)

Anders Johnson/Bragi played by Dean O'Gorman

Anders Johnson/Bragi played by Dean O’Gorman

A god you don’t want to play call of Duty with because he always kills you and doesn’t even wait ten seconds after you’ve re-spawned. (He’s the god of games, he always wins…So annoying)

Timothy Balme as Mike/Ullr.

Timothy Balme as Mike/Ullr.

The Iceman least likely to come out.

Jared Turner as Ty/Hod.

Jared Turner as Ty/Hod.

The bestest of friends!!

Axl/Odin and Zeb played by Emmett Skilton and Hayden Frost

Axl/Odin and Zeb played by Emmett Skilton and Hayden Frost

A Douglas Fir! (Sorry New Zealand, had to put in a bit of Oregon)

Alison Bruce as Agnetha/Freyja

Alison Bruce as Agnetha/Freyja

But sometimes she’s actually a bit more like this.

Agnetha cactus

The Goddess of death…Or just the crazy lady Ty got married to. Either way, Hel hath no fury.

Brooke Williams as Eve/Hel.

Brooke Williams as Eve/Hel.

Odin on Chick day.

Axl as Frigg and Olaf/Baldr played by Siobhan Marshall and Ben Barrington

Axl as Frigg and Olaf/Baldr played by Siobhan Marshall and Ben Barrington

People one probably shouldn’t see on Odin’s chick day, but you have to go see anyway.

Ben Barrington, Siobhan Marshall, Dean O'Gorman, Shane Cortese, and Hayden Frost.

Ben Barrington, Siobhan Marshall, Dean O’Gorman, Shane Cortese, and Hayden Frost.

But that doesn’t stop your bestest friend from trying.

Ben Barrington, Siobhan Marshall, and Hayden Frost.

Ben Barrington, Siobhan Marshall, and Hayden Frost.

A place where everybody knows your name. (Even though sometimes they probably wish they didn’t)

Axl/Odin with Olaf/Baldr and Mike/Ullr played by Emmett Skilton, Ben Barrington and Timothy Balme

Axl/Odin with Olaf/Baldr and Mike/Ullr played by Emmett Skilton, Ben Barrington and Timothy Balme

The sexiest man alive!

Geoff Dolan as Derrick Hansen/Thor.

Geoff Dolan as Derrick Hansen/Thor.

A fun gadget Anders found at the Apple Store.

Sara Wiseman as Helen/Idunn.

Sara Wiseman as Helen/Idunn.

Enjoying your Apple product!

Jared Turner, Dean O'Gorman, Sara Wiseman.

Jared Turner, Dean O’Gorman, Sara Wiseman.

A Bible thumper (sorry if that term is offensive) who’s gonna thump somebody.

Natalie Medlock as Natalie the God hunter.

Natalie Medlock as Natalie the God hunter.

Dropping an especially heavy bible on your Apple product.

Sara Wiseman as Helen/Idunn.

Sara Wiseman as Helen/Idunn.

Getting a new Apple product!

Keisha Castle-Hughes as Gaia/Idunn and Rachel Nash as Ingrid/ Snotra.

Keisha Castle-Hughes as Gaia/Idunn and Rachel Nash as Ingrid/ Snotra.

Sending you Apple product back to the manufacturer because it doesn’t work well for you.

Keisha Castle-Hughes as Gaia/Idunn, Emmett Skilton, and Hayden Frost.

Keisha Castle-Hughes as Gaia/Idunn, Emmett Skilton, and Hayden Frost.

The Donald Trump of New Zealand gods. (Yet even he has enough class not to insult the voters…At least not to their faces)

Shane Cortese as Colin/Loki.

Shane Cortese as Colin/Loki.

God least likely to want to hang out under the Mistletoe.

Ben Barrinton as Olaf/Baldr.

Ben Barrinton as Olaf/Baldr.

Backstory that they can’t use because it would totally mess up the story. (And really old-timey references)

Ben Barrington, Jared Turner, Shane Cortese.

Ben Barrington, Jared Turner, Shane Cortese.

Odin when he feels pretty.

Emmett Skilton as Axl/Odin.

Emmett Skilton as Axl/Odin.

Friggity, Frigg, Frigg, Frigg!

Siobhan Marshall as Frigg and Matthew Saville as Heimdall

Siobhan Marshall as Frigg and Matthew Saville as Heimdall

Clueless Mortals…

Dawn and Zeb played by Fern Sutherland and Hayden Frost.

Dawn and Zeb played by Fern Sutherland and Hayden Frost.

Freki the Chihuahua edition! (Sorry dude, had to go there)

Zeb played by Hayden Frost.

Zeb played by Hayden Frost.

Okay, that’s it for now!! Look for the relevant songs below! Special thanks to James Griffin, Rachel Lang, Simon Bennett and all of the other lovely talent. Happy belated birthday to Emmett Skilton, and thank you for letting me play with this!! I quite enjoyed it!

Things to look forward to:

Amusing things to see in “The Dark Crystal”

Amusing things to see in “Poldark”

Amusing things to see in “The Lord of the Rings”

Amusing things to see in “Star Wars”

Amusing things to see in “The Hobbit”

and many others. Possibly not in that order. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you!!

Song for Ty and Dawn

Song for Axl

Song for Mike

Song for Colin

Song for Eva

Song for Anders

Song for Olaf

Song for the show

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