Amusing things that you will see in The Hobbit.

Hello all!! This is the second post in the “Amusing Things Collection”. Thank you so much for reading my last Post on “The Almighty Johnsons”, I very much appreciate it! Anyway, I must say that I quite enjoyed the Hobbit films, as they were good adaptations of something that is hard to adapt. Tolkien is notoriously hard to adapt because his world is greater and more complex than can be conveyed in film. So it was wonderful for an adaptation of a Tolkien work. Directed by Peter Jackson, and written by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and, Guillermo Del Toro and featuring Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Cate Blanchett, Aidan Turner, Graham McTavish, Dean O’Gorman, Lee Pace, Evangeline Lilly, Orlando Bloom, Stephen Hunter, James Nesbitt, Jed Brophy, Adam Brown, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ian Holm, and so many others. Brought to you, of course, by New Line Cinema, MGM, Wingnut Films and 3Foot7. I did not get to do as many of these as I may have wanted, so this may be part one. Again, a bunch of jokes and one liners about “The Hobbit” series. Thank you all, I hope you find at least some of these funny!!

Being attracted to shiny objects.

The Arkenstone.

The Arkenstone.

That “Holy crap!!!” moment when you see a dragon.

Richard Armitage as Thorin.

Richard Armitage as Thorin.

Releasing you reptiles into the wild when they get too big for you to handle.

Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug.

Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug.

Dwarves who are at your service.

Aidan Turner, Dean O'Gorman and Martin Freeman.

Aidan Turner, Dean O’Gorman and Martin Freeman.

Being hot dwarves.

Richard Armitage, Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner.

Richard Armitage, Dean O’Gorman and Aidan Turner.

Yeah, I think that the fan girls are totally after you, but me and Sing are here to rescue you.

Stephen Chow as Sing in Kung-Fu Hustle (2004).

Stephen Chow as Sing in Kung-Fu Hustle (2004).

Obesity!

Stephen Hunter as Bombur and the Great Goblin channeling Eric Cartman.

Stephen Hunter as Bombur and the Great Goblin channeling Eric Cartman.

A Japanese school girl. (yeah I totally had to go there)

Aidan Turner and Martin Freeman.

Aidan Turner and Martin Freeman.

The Three Stooges!

Martin Freeman and Trolls.

Martin Freeman and Trolls.

What happens to those big blue people from Avatar when you leave them in the dark too long…And do terrible things to them.

Azog the Defiler played by Manu Bennett and CGI.

Azog the Defiler played by Manu Bennett and CGI.

Schizophrenia… (sorry if this is offensive. Couldn’t help myself.)

Gollum played by Andy Serkis.

Gollum played by Andy Serkis.

Unabashed hair porn.

Richard Armitage playing Thorin and Jed Brophy playing Nori.

Richard Armitage playing Thorin and Jed Brophy playing Nori.

One of the most annoying tropes in fantasy. (arachnophobia…  :P)

Martin Freeman as Bilbo and CGI spiders.

Martin Freeman as Bilbo and CGI spiders.

The worst pick-up line in the history of Middle Earth. (No seriously, Tolkien was rolling in his grave)

Aidan Turner, Evangeline Lilly, Dean O'Gorman and Orlando Bloom.

Aidan Turner, Evangeline Lilly, Dean O’Gorman and Orlando Bloom.

Doing time.

Aidan Turner as Kili.

Aidan Turner as Kili.

Captain not appearing in this book.

Evangeline Lilly as Tauriel.

Evangeline Lilly as Tauriel.

Being short in general.

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield, Aidan Turner, Dean O'Gorman, Martin Freeman, Graham McTavish, Ken Stott, William Kircher, James Nesbitt, Stephen Hunter, John Callen, Peter Hambleton, Jed Brophy, Mark Hadlow, and Adam Brown.

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield, Aidan Turner, Dean O’Gorman, Martin Freeman, Graham McTavish, Ken Stott, William Kircher, James Nesbitt, Stephen Hunter, John Callen, Peter Hambleton, Jed Brophy, Mark Hadlow, and Adam Brown.

Being an expert at hurling insults.

Richard Armitage, Aidan Turner and Lee Pace as Thranduil.

Richard Armitage, Aidan Turner and Lee Pace as Thranduil.

Showing off your nuts.

Aidan Turner as Kili.

Aidan Turner as Kili.

Weird ass crap that you find in fan fiction like:

Thilbo Bagginshield!

Richard Armitage as Thorin and Martin Freeman as Bilbo.

Richard Armitage as Thorin and Martin Freeman as Bilbo.

Durincest!!

Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner as Fili and Kili.

Dean O’Gorman and Aidan Turner as Fili and Kili.

Throninduil!!

Richard Armitage and Lee Pace.

Richard Armitage and Lee Pace.

and many many other weird things…

Stuff that leads to this (though it’s not really a bad thing)!!

Aidan Turner in the BBC show

Aidan Turner in the BBC show “Poldark” Scything and asking the fundamental question.

And stuff that leads to this.

Anders Johnson/Bragi played by Dean O'Gorman

Anders Johnson/Bragi played by Dean O’Gorman

Realizing what’s really important.

Richard Armitage as Thorin and Aidan Turner as Kili.

Richard Armitage as Thorin and Aidan Turner as Kili.

Never was there a tale of more woe…

Evangeline Lilly and Aidan Turner.

Evangeline Lilly and Aidan Turner.

All well that ends well…

Ian McKellen as Gandalf.

Ian McKellen as Gandalf.

Alright ladies and gents, that’s all for now. Relevant song links below. Thank you for reading!! I hope to hear from you!! Thank you so much to the lovely talent in the films, I appreciate what you have created.

Adventures that make one late to dinner…

Ridiculous dwarves!!

Thranduil will teach you a lesson!

Sadness?

Hope remains.

The Promised Land.

Thank you for reading and cheers!!

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